Een verhaal inspireerd op een Engelse grap met een Herman van Veen einde.
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A tale of religion
During a violent hurricane, a levees breaks and a sudden surge of mud and water drives a Muslim, a Christian and a Jew up on the the roof of a house. As soon as they discover each other faiths, they immediately start to bash each others heads in, until they can take no more.
Inexplicably, Socrates rows by and sees the three men in dire straits on the roof. He shouts: “Hi there! I've come to rescue you. Why are you in such horrible shape?” A fierce debate ensues about God, Allah, Abraham, Jesus Mohammed, territory and true believe. After a couple of hours, Socrates shakes his head in disbelieve. “For the first time in my life, I can make head nor tail of your arguments, but the offer still stands. Hop in!” “No, no, no, I will never share a rowboat with these heathens”. They drop to their knees and start praying to their respective Gods. “Well, have it your way”, Socrates remarks and rows off and the water rises as the men are praying for salvation.
Hungry and exhausted by now, the three men rise to their feet in excitement as they see a sailboat appear over the horizon. The boat moors to the house. 'Beagle' it says on the bow. A young man reaches out his hand. “Wait a minute!”, the three men exclaim, “You're Charles Darwin!” “Yes”, Darwin replies, “Who are are you?”. “You're trying to destroy all we stand for!” “But, I.. I.. I've discovered we're all created equal, from common ancestors! We were made to co-operate!” “Bullshit!”, the men cry out. “Are you trying to tell us we are all apes?” Darwin quickly pushes off, as the men start charging towards The Beagle in anger. The men proudly stand as they see her sail off.
But the water rises further and the men start shanting: “Lord, oh Lord, I've lived a fearful live, why won't you rescue me!” while they climb up onto the highest top of the house.
With a whoosh, a flying carpet appears over the house. A beautiful woman peeks her head over the edge of the carpet and reaches out to the men. Surprised, the men stammer: “Who, who are you?” “I'm Shiva, goddess of temptation and all that is good in the world. I've come to take you away and make you my servants.” Startled, the three men cry out: “We will never bow to the whims of a woman.” “Are you sure?”, Shiva replies in her sweetest voice. “I can rescue you and you will be well rewarded.” “We will never ever bow to women!”, the men repeat. “Go away! We will not bow to temptation, no matter how bad things get. Our God will save us!”. Surprised at their conviction in such a dire situation, Shiva whooshes off.
The water rises further and, sadly, they drown..
At the heavenly gates, they furiously demand an audience with their deity. “Lord, I've lead a fearful live, I've followed all your rules, fought the unfaithful and resisted temptation. My God, I cannot understand why you would let me die?”.
“Are you kidding me?”, She thunders, “I've sent you a philosopher, a scientist and my wife. For my sake, as I rule in Heaven, what more do you want?”.
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Enjoy/Vermaakt u/????
-- Edward